My mom talks about getting an arranged marriage all the time. It's different. I've asked her why arranged marriages seem to work so well. Her answer was actually really simple. There's stablility in an arranged marriage that love marriages do not have. Think about it. If your marriage has been arranged, you can't break the engagement without bringing disgrace on your family. Once you're married, unless the guy is really bad, then you can't divorce him and he can't divorce you because it brings disgrace on your family. When you have that stability that "he will always be there," then you can fall in love. Love after marriage. That love can blossom because of the trust that grows between man and wife. You learn to work out problems because if you can't you'll be misrible You learn to love someone who you previously never did, and you learn to live your life with someone fully. There is no need for divorce. Learning to love isn't a fairytale notion. It sounds kind of realistic and boring but I don't think falling in love can ever be boring. Arranged marriages work because people are at first forced to work out their problems and work together. They are almost forced to be together in the beginning, and then later, they fall in love and it's not forced anymore. Also, arranged marriages are arranged by elders. The people in India are brought up learning that the elders are always right. My mom trusted her parents in their decision to marry her to my dad. That trust also played a very big part in their marriage. Maybe not the most romantic notion in the world, but it's one that has kept marriages working for a very long time.
Of course, arranged marriages don't always work out. It used to be in India that you had to whether through the storm and stay married if you didn't want disgrace to fall on your family, no matter how horrible your marriage was. Now a days, its not like that. Divorce is more common than ever in India, and though the divorce rate is not nearly as high as in America, it still shows that Indian culture is slowly changing. Arranged marriages are not as common anymore either. More and more people are having love marriages, and sometimes these marriages work out. Sometimes these don't.
I think the Bollywood movies have a lot to do with the changes in culture. They show a lot of a girl having an arranged marriage and then running away with her sweetheart right before she is to be married. They show a lot of falling in love and then fighting to be together. And a recent occurance in movies is the kiss. I had never seen any couple kiss in an Indian movie until maybe last year or the year before. It just didn't happen. Now, there has to be at least one kiss in any famous movie. Another thing that has brought about the change in Indian culture.
The younger generation in India just don't accept the arranged marriage custom anymore. They believe in falling in love before you get married instead of falling in love with your husband. Arranged marriages aren't too common anymore. In my mom's time, everyone got an arranged marriage. It was unheard of to get a love marriage. Now, more and more youngsters are dating and "falling in love." It's certainly a difference. I sometimes wonder if this is what happened to American culture. Arranged marriages were, at one point, existent in American culture. What happened? What made them die out? And what part of American culture today makes the divorce rate so high???
The word divorce in hindi does not even exist, not really. Indians commonly use the word "talaq" to refer to divorce, but this is an arabic word. This tells so much about what Indians believe about divorce, but now that is all changing. Their culture is changing slowly day by day, just as American culture changed slowly all those years ago.
Of course, arranged marriages don't always work out. It used to be in India that you had to whether through the storm and stay married if you didn't want disgrace to fall on your family, no matter how horrible your marriage was. Now a days, its not like that. Divorce is more common than ever in India, and though the divorce rate is not nearly as high as in America, it still shows that Indian culture is slowly changing. Arranged marriages are not as common anymore either. More and more people are having love marriages, and sometimes these marriages work out. Sometimes these don't.
I think the Bollywood movies have a lot to do with the changes in culture. They show a lot of a girl having an arranged marriage and then running away with her sweetheart right before she is to be married. They show a lot of falling in love and then fighting to be together. And a recent occurance in movies is the kiss. I had never seen any couple kiss in an Indian movie until maybe last year or the year before. It just didn't happen. Now, there has to be at least one kiss in any famous movie. Another thing that has brought about the change in Indian culture.
The younger generation in India just don't accept the arranged marriage custom anymore. They believe in falling in love before you get married instead of falling in love with your husband. Arranged marriages aren't too common anymore. In my mom's time, everyone got an arranged marriage. It was unheard of to get a love marriage. Now, more and more youngsters are dating and "falling in love." It's certainly a difference. I sometimes wonder if this is what happened to American culture. Arranged marriages were, at one point, existent in American culture. What happened? What made them die out? And what part of American culture today makes the divorce rate so high???
The word divorce in hindi does not even exist, not really. Indians commonly use the word "talaq" to refer to divorce, but this is an arabic word. This tells so much about what Indians believe about divorce, but now that is all changing. Their culture is changing slowly day by day, just as American culture changed slowly all those years ago.
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